Keep on going.
Simple, right? Nope. Not even close. Our typical instinct, at least for my past self, has been to turn around and go back when I’ve hit the hard part. It’s true. When things got difficult for me I gave up, I u-turned, I escaped. It’s not something I’m proud of because it’s what brought me to 310 lbs. I don’t like talking about it because people thought I was this crazy strong woman with determination. I wasn’t.
It was so much easier to just not care about my health. It was easier to not care how much I weighed. It was easier to eat whatever I wanted regardless of how unhealthy it was or how sick it would make me. It’s EASIER. We like easy, don’t we? I mean, I literally had accepted my size and decided that the rest of the judging world was going to have to accept it, too. My couch felt much better when my butt was cushy. The problem with that was I was beginning to not be able to sit on my couch and be comfortable. My hips spilled into the next section of it. I couldn’t find anything in my closet that fit me and made me look ‘not so fat’.
When I was a teenager in the 80s I had a denim jacket that had buttons all over it. All kinds of different buttons. Don’t judge me. It was cool back then. Anyway.. one of them said “I don’t have an eating problem. I eat, I get fat, I buy new clothes. No problem.” I realize now just how crazy that statement is. I also realize now that I lived that statement for many, many years.
So, I took all of that shame and weight and sadness and brought it in to Joleen so she could tell me what CrossFit could do for me. After we were done talking I packed it back into my “backpack” and took it home. Then, when I had my classes with Coach Kellie I brought all of it with me again and just handed it to her. I handed over all of my guilt, all of my embarrassment, all of my vulnerability and cried as I asked for help getting off the floor.
It was the best thing I have ever done for myself. I was going through hell and once I unburdened myself from all the bad feels, I could keep going instead of turning back.
So many of you have joined 13 Stripes for various reasons. So many of you haven’t come back yet. You either came to your foundations classes and have yet to actually take a class or you’ve come to a few foundations classes and felt like you couldn’t do it so you u-turned. I’m here today to tell you that you CAN do it. It’s not too late. You have your entire life ahead of you. Why not make it the best life you can?
Hopefully you can see the picture I posted. I had a rough couple of days emotionally and when I went to the gym I wasn’t 100% and I was in a terrible mood. The people gathered around me are all the people who finished the workout before I did. I’m usually the last to finish but for this particular one I was REALLY behind. Every single person in that gym cheered me on. They knew I was going through hell and they were there to make sure I kept going.
These are our people. This is our tribe. We need them to help us. Just like we need YOU to join us.
U-turn back around and come in the doors. Take the 2nd or 3rd first step back to healthy and when you’re going through hell we’ll all be there to make sure you keep going. I know I’m worth it. And so are you.
See you at the box!
#fromcouchtocrossfit #mystandardsmyway #donotevergiveup #lifepassesquickly #13stripesforlife